How did chiggers make a living before people started wearing clothes?
An entomologist explained in a college “bugs and boys” class that chiggers have weak mouth parts so they need pressure to clamp onto our skin. The invention of elastic waistbands was a huge boon to chiggerdom.
This is blackberry season, which means every time I bring in a bowl of berries from my bushes, I’m also wearing a crop of chiggers. I’ve never seen a chigger, but they sure make their presence known. Huge itching welts appear, usually in a line along my underwear. Bug spray doesn’t always work, either. It’s almost like salad dressing to the bugs.
Naked gardening does pose other problems — sun overexposure and skin overexposure. I wouldn’t want a golfer on the adjoining course to miss a shot, shocked by the sight of me scampering around naked with a berry basket. Some night I may just creep out to the bushes under the moonlight, flashlight in hand, hoping I don’t surprise a hungry raccoon, and tell those chiggers, “Bite me, if you can!”